Life is a Trial, Challenge or Game.
I have to live up to my heritage
Be the Best of my Kind to prove my parents suffering was not in vain
DOGMA [+ Flaw ]
Life is a Game
[ and you can win + lose ]
People guided by a rational Principle can’t enjoy life or do anything for fun or it’s own sake. They are ambitious and desire to be admired, because they fundamentally are afraid of not being good or great enough to succeed. They fear to be punished by life or even god himself, so they want to be untouchable. They don’t allow themselves to play, take no risks and make few mistakes and thus they can’t improve very quickly. At the same time they are impatient with themselves for not being better already. They want to become more powerful, master the challenge of life, be the best of their kind. Ultimately they secretly strive to become almighty like god, but only to protect themselves from life. And it is exactly this desire that keeps them trapped in their human impotence.
They train hard to win a game, they never play by fear of losing.They avoid pain and thus numb themselves down to pleasure. They deprive themselves from experiences and joy, because they don’t trust neither their own power nor their judgement. They think they are too weak to resist bad impulses and might end up in some kind of hell be it in life or after death.They try to avoid violence at all cost and discipline themselves before others can do it. They don’t want to be at fault, but they always feel as if they are, because they neither enjoy doing what they think they should do nor can do what they really want without judging themselves. They feel safe when they can make others look up to them without violence, only with the power of their mind. But they don’t enjoy it as they don’t feel powerful,when others love them for their ideas, thoughts or competence and not for their body and whole being.
All their efforts to perfect themselves and avoid the pain and violence of punishment by others actually already is a form of violence against their own nature. Thus their own strict discipline makes them secretly desire to lose control and give in to their weakness. Their own repressed violence reemerges as twisted desire to be hurt and punished to actually feel all the pain and pleasure again. Or to be violent themselves, which again is a way of losing oneself and reconnecting with one’s weakness by projecting it onto someone else and beating it. Life is not safe. And one can’t avoid pain without avoiding pleasure too. But living is meant to be enjoyed, not to be mastered. And if it seems as if one could win at life, it’s probably because one doesn’t really play and misses all the fun.