Life is a fragile gift.
Prove one’s birth was no mistake
Pass on Life: my Genes or my Ideas + Views; my own Way, No matter how.
DOGMA [+ Flaw ]
I’m not as good as the others
[ but I can’t change who I am ]
People guided by an emotional principle are afraid that they might not be good enough to pass on life or that their way of living is not right or sustainable. They suffer from shame about their smallness and dependency and try to hide that by pretending to be independent, helpful or proud to be exactly how they are and that they don’t need neither permission nor help from anyone. They don’t follow their natural impulses because they are afraid of being abandoned and left behind if others find out their true feelings. They see themselves as mostly good hearted and want others to see them as the same. That’s why they feel they need to portray themselves as authentically as possible. They don’t want to pretend to be like everybody else or conform to be accepted.
Their struggle for authenticity while being perceived as all good leads to a split personality similar to the story of Jekyll+Hide. Most of the time they can uphold their nice attitudes and agreeable behaviour and take care about others and their needs almost like a good parent. But then over time their repressed emotions and needs reach a tipping point and their shadow self takes over and expresses itself without regard to others at all. Although both sides seem so different, both pursue the same goal of being taken seriously as a grown up. Being too nice on the one hand and to selfish, mean and hardheaded on the other hand are both an attempt to portray one’s own competence, goodness and rightfulness. But in both cases the portray tries to detach itself from its dependent relationship with it’s viewer: Others shall not be able to dislike any part of one’s personality; Love it or leave it. It’s a package.
People who can’t accept their negative selfish sides are afraid of any change because they think they found a stable personality that is accepted by others and portrays them and their true being adequately enough. But they still are unsatisfied and desire peace. That is to be left alone by others, so they don’t have to play this false split personality. Or to find a way to get finally rid of their dark other side, because they are afraid of who they might become, when their repressed emotions finally break free. They want to stay who they are. All good and above criticism by others. Ironically their positive self-image comes close to reality, but they don’t believe it themselves, because they feel that not everything about them is all good. What they fail to see, is that this is just fine. And that they still are good enough. They need to understand that ignoring the force of change within them will harm themselves + others, while acknowledging it and being who they really are, will not hurt anyone at all and finally grant them the peace they are looking for.