Protection vs. Empathy

solidary conflict for Survival

In a conflict for Survival, both characters want to belong to the same group, but don’t dare to show their true face. Both are afraid of being excluded, because they believe, they can’t survive on their own. So they fight over the authority position that defines who or what belongs to the group. They hide behind masks + social roles to protect themselves, but to provide actual safety a group needs mutual personal sacrifice and thus wholehearted trust.
SELBSTBESTIMMUNG TOLERANZ KONTROLLE IDENTITÄT ÜBERLEBEN ERFOLG innerer Konflikt – STATUS innerer Konflikt – Wahrheit innerer Konflikt – Macht innerer Konflikt – Frieden


both want
+ Integrity


Play a Role or Do one's Job,
Gain Access, Belong to a Group



to have a
Fair Share






Stay Alive or Who One is, Be
Respected, Be Seen, Be left Alone



to keep Everything
for Himself
fearsOppression / Betrayal
avoidsBreaking Rules, Intimacy

break their rules
lose controll, admit flaws
show humanity

Harm / Changefears
Emotions, Vulnerabilityavoids

express feelings
find out what he wants
share his ideas & thoughts
listen to his heart

The Gatekeeper wants to protect his community from any harm. So he keeps everyone out, who doesn’t comply to the common rules. The Outsider wants to join the Gatekeeper’s safe community. But as he thinks he can’t fit in, he seeks to change the rules.
Conformity blocks Authenticity The Gatekeeper wants to avoid any change to his social structures, because it threatens his authority over the group. He identifies with his social role, and thus survival for him means to keep his status and conserve social conventions. Both want to belong to the same group,
but are afraid of showing who they are.
Pride blocks Community The Outsider wants to contribute to society without compromising his heart. He is giving and wants to inspire social change so he can finally feel at home somewhere. Survival for him means to stay true to his authentic self first of all.
The Outsider wants to join a Community. But the Gatekeeper wants to keep him out. In a situation of crisis, both characters are resisting the change around them. They want to stay true to their Integrity. But it’s this idea about who they think they are that keeps them from connecting to each other empathically and recognising each others plight and humanity.
SURVIVAL Hierarchy + Traditional Values The Gatekeeper wants the Outsider to integrate and comply to the conventions of the group, and thus first of all to accept his own authority. BOTH WANT
SURVIVAL Safety + Respect The Outsider's esprit challenges social dogma and his opponents authority. But all he wants is to find a place, where he can stop hiding who he really is.
The Outsider wants to be accepted the way he is, yet doesn’t respect the social conventions of the group he wants to join. The Gatekeeper protects these conventions + rules more than the members of the group, because he thinks every change might risk his own integrity as an authority of the group.
INTEGRITY conventional sense of duty The Gatekeeper doesn’t want to be affected by feelings. Difficult decisions need to benefit the whole group. He is loyal to his social role and wants to exercise it as neutral as possible without considering any personal advantages. BOTH BELIEVE THEY NEED
INTEGRITY personal Loyalty The Outsider wants to be accepted no matter what. If he can’t express who he is, he runs away and rather takes care of himself than to be dominated. He is loyal to his true self and other authentic relationships on a personal level.
Both characters feel threatened, and neither wants to change, but in order to survive both need to let go of their protection and prove each other that they are willing to sacrifice their life or reputation for each other. Only then they can join forces against the real threats and become a healthy loving community.